You Don't Have Permission to Loot This Corpse

I know what you're thinking: "Boy, dead people sure are dull, aren't they Mr. Crawford?"

Well, yes they are, Timmy. They just lay around all day, and they never do nothin', except maybe rot a little.

But did you know that corpses sometimes have neat stuff in them, like epic loots and money and livers?

I bet you didn't!

So, do you still think dead people are dull? Nope? Didn't think so!

Now that you know how amazing corpses are, you'll probably just want to run around ripping open every putrefying torso you can find to see if it's full of loose change or leather shoulderpads or something. But I've got some bad news: you're not allowed to loot all the corpses. Just some of them.

You see, you may get excited when you see an Ogre carcass, because you know he probably has some great big kidneys. But if you go elbows-deep into that fetid mass of rank, maggot-ridden subcutaneous fat and fish out all the goodies, there won't be anything left for the next adventurer. That doesn't seem very fair, does it?

That's why we've got loot rules! You see, loot rules help us decide who gets to go rummaging around in a dead person's pockets or chest cavity.

After we murder somebody with our friends, we have to roll some dice to see who gets to stuff his backpack full of fresh entrails. If we didn't have that, we'd barely have a society. People would just take whatever's lying around in corpses, dogs and cats would live together. It would just be a mess.

It's polite to give the contents of corpses to the people who most need them. It might be nice to have a pretty eyeball or a spine, but do you really need it? Somebody might! Don't be selfish. There will be plenty of people to murder later on!

And don't go rooting around in corpses that other people murdered. That's just rude. Go murder your own victim, if you want to loot a corpse.

Remember, if you break the loot rules, you're a ninja looter. Nobody believes you have a tanking offspec, and nobody likes a ninja looter. So murder politely, and treat other murderers with respect, and there will be plenty of corpses for everyone to tear apart!

Isn't that swell?