I know you've probably seen this thread a thousand times, but this games community is just disgusting. I never realized it until I asked a simple question in trade and got flamed for it, or when I got flamed for calling out an inc in AB yesterday. I can't join a dungeon queue without being called a "Terrible tank" when the DPS attack instantly as I pull, leaving me no time to get threat.
Those of you who help out new players, who are polite, well-mannered and generally nice people, I thank you. I don't know how you've managed to stay nice for so long with a community like this.
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I see this thread a lot too (and agree with the quote I put here), and I maintain that if you want change, you must be the change you want to happen. If you want people to be patient with you, be patient with them. If you want people to be courteous to you, be courteous to them. If you want people to be helpful, be helpful yourself. Even when you want something for yourself, be generous to others,(more often than not) they'll be generous in return. And if they aren't, don't sweat it. You can choose to let the rude people get to you, or you can move on. Here's a mostly opposite experience that I had from what others tend to report. (Yes, I am completely anonymous in game.) The other day, I ran some dungeons (albeit normal ones) with a random group. At first we had a mage who didn't know what they were doing. The mage eventually left the group. No one yelled at them other than asking them if they knew what they needed to do. While people griped about them to the group, I mentioned that perhaps they were new or young and didn't know what they were doing. We then went through a few different people in the group as we progressed. Some would leave quickly (for no apparent reason), one left because they needed to go do something else, and yet, the ones that stayed, were patient, they were helpful and even more interesting, they were supportive of me (a stranger) getting some nice upgrades to my gear even though it meant they weren't getting items to sell or disenchant. When we finished the run, we queued for another one and though we went through a couple of other people, the "core" nice folks, stayed for as long as we could until other outside of game things came up for each of us. Everyone has their own story. They may have had a bad day, another bad experience, they may have a headache, or they may just be a jerk. The thing is, they have no control over you or your experience unless you allow them to. Yeah, it may take up some of your time and it may take a few tries to find that one or two other people who you mesh with, but it's worth it in the end. Our memories are sometimes very punishing to us. We remember the bad experiences far more than the good because the good are not traumatic or upsetting the way the bad ones are and leave less of an impression. It's how you choose to dwell on those bad memories that will shape your experiences. If you want to evoke a better community, be a part of that better community. |
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It's not. It's something that I've put into practice over many years and after many of my own trials and tribulations. It's easy to dismiss it as naive, but I've seen the results for myself time and time again. Being kind to others can often soften them and if it doesn't, they may not be worth your thought or effort let alone worth your happiness. I've also "dealt" with far far worse than what people post in a forum or say in a game in my life. I'm not going to share that with you here and you can choose to believe it or not as you wish. Dismissing the idea of it, is merely continuing to buy into the idea that everyone is behaving badly period at all times with no reason other than they're a jerk when they may have ulterior reasons that have nothing to do with you. Yes, the GM team and Customer Service do action players. In many cases, people become complacent or don't report people because they believe that nothing happens to resolve it. What happens then is people behaving badly continue to get away with it because of the "good" folks feeling that nothing is happening. The truth is though, we're not going to tell you each and every person who is actioned (or how) or allow them to be victimized themselves for their behavior. It doesn't provide a solution to do so and only a cyclical perpetuation of bad behavior and feelings. There's not much else I can say here and I'm not going to debate policy here either. I merely wanted to give a different perspective that hopefully rings a bell for some people. Declarations of everything being awful is merely an overstatement of some bad experiences blown up to apply to all people whether they are a "guilty" party or participant in bad behavior or not, and I find that terribly unfair to those who do help, are generous, and work to make the community better every day they log into the game. To those people, I thank you and I look forward to gaming with you more. |
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If you think I'm standoffish, you are quite wrong. I care very much about this community. I am also human and have my off days too. I also report people in game when they have bad names or are in chat spamming or using bad language. And sometimes, I just want to solo and tune people out. It's on me though to make the experience I want because the tools are there already for the rest. (Ignore, report, etc.) As I said, I play the same as any other player. I have no special tools. When I interact with GMs, they have no idea I'm also an employee. I experience the game as a whole the same as anyone. |
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No one turned you into anything. You choose to act the way you do. No one is pulling the strings. I have more friends and better experiences from being fair and respectful than not. So I guess we're at a point where we must agree to disagree then. The biggest thing is, no one has yet to program in manners or good behavior. Free will and choice are just that. You must exert it for yourself and make your own choices. |
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One person can change the world, but they can only do it one person at a time. It's the same for this community. I'm also not saying be a doormat. I'm saying, be fair and tough when you need to be, walk away when you have to. Apologize when you've been in the wrong. When you feel the burn out, take a break. When someone gets at you, try to think about the why. (Again they just might not be feeling well.) Here's a personal example of mine- I went to a store to pick something up I had paid for. I was told there was plenty of stock. I had a cold at the time but wanted to get it done so I didn't have to worry about delaying the pick up. The girl behind the counter told me they didn't have any. I became upset and questioned her on why I was assured that it was OK and in stock then cited the extra time I was going to now have to wait for a reorder. (Probably a bit too fervently, but I was sick and frustrated.) I took a deep breath when someone else jumped in to find out the issue. I explained and she said she'd take a look too that it should be OK. Needless to say, they found it, and I had apologized during the duration explaining that I had a cold, felt miserable and had been frustrated. I made it known that I wasn't intending to cause them extra trouble. Needless with it in stock, they were relieved, I was relieved and we all walked away happy.. or at least happier that it was resolved. The key was, I stepped up to admit my own failing in the encounter. I made it known that while I was frustrated, it was more due to a cold than the issue and the cold was compounding my reaction. I thank people regularly that probably don't get many thanks. I ask them how their day is. If they seem stressed at their job, I try to bolster their spirits a bit. It's the very least I can do. I smile at people and say, "hello" because so few people do it and know that that one moment, may have some affect on them. When I'm in game, and I'm "off" I explain, I apologize, I understand if my actions have caused someone time in a dungeon run etc, but I don't take what anyone says to heart. If I feel burnt out, I walk away. We (as a team) do the same with the forums. We care a lot more than people give us credit for. We are not required to provide platitudes. We share what experiences we can with people and as I've said in person to people at BlizzCon etc, if just one person understands and appreciates what I've done, then any amount of negative I've had to overcome has been worth it. No one is saying the community is 100% sunshine and roses. I'm just saying that it is better than the dark, dreary, and utterly depressing portrait others have chosen to paint. And I refuse to allow the helpful people to feel that they aren't noticed or appreciated for what they do. They are, and they always will be by me and many others like me. |
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Just a quick reply-
Please be careful about the real world references that are being brought into this thread and the language. (Avoiding the profanity filter or swearing.) Also, please be respectful of others who may have alternate experiences or thoughts than yourself. In short, don't make me turn this car around. ;) |
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At no point have I said it's easy. But things that are worth doing are just sometimes difficult and take real fortitude (not the castable sort.) Being a better person than those you are with in the face of being called names or harassed is not easy. Also, at no point have I said simply turn the other cheek and deal with it. I've said, be better than them, but don't let them abuse you. Believe me, I've read every post here and I can empathize and relate to what people are saying on both sides of the fence. Everyone has differing opinions that have been shaped by their own individual experiences and perceptions. I'm just trying to toss a pebble into the stream and see how many ripples we can get going. Again, it's not always easy, but it gets easier with time and you'll attract the sort of people you want to be around and the types of experiences you want to have the more you do it. I've been in community in one way or another for (approximately) 10 years or so. I've seen all types of communities, and I can assure you, there is no better or worse. There is only the perceptions of it and how you choose to interact (or not) with it. I sincerely appreciate everyone who has taken the time to respond to this thread in an open and honest way and I hope that we can make this week better than the last. On our end, we're always trying to find ways to help and continue to provide all of you with the best experiences we possibly can and that is not going to change. We can only hope that we keep finding ways to improve for you and finding that right balance. |
